rubbish.hhah.not craps anymore.

hmm.
nyappy in the world.
totally not what i am feeling now.
i'm not nyappy.i'm crappy.
hahahahah.

i want to be what i am.
not what i have to be.
i want to stop caring about what other people thinks about me.
i want to do whatever i want.
i want to shout at everybody i hate.
to tell them to stay out of my affairs.
to tell them to scram and get the hell out of my life.
that they are maggots.idiots.jerks.and they are not better than i am.
i want to hug whoever i want to.
not who i have to hug.
i want to cry anywhere and anytime i feel like to.
not when i am supposed to.
i want to laugh out loud at other people's misery.tell them that they were supposed to get that.
not to console them as i was told.
i want to scream like i am crazy.and sing in front of millions without shaking.
to roll on the floor when i'm unhappy.and cry like there's no tomorrow.

maybe i'll do that all when i finally lose my mind.
and maybe i'll lose my mind in near future becoz of having to bottle up everything in my mind but not letting them float in the sea of misery.
maybe it will never happen.not in a hundred years.not in a thousand years.not in a million years.
maybe i'll die before it'll happen.
hahahhahaha.
not looking forward for it to happen.
but also not crossing out any possibility.
so if anyone sees the signs of this happening.
please contact the nearest psychologist or even mental hospital.
hhahahhahhaha